Date Night.

Guess what. I have a date tomorrow night. A handsome man asked me out for dinner and a movie and I said Yes. Total score.

Considering this is our first date in something like nine months I probably don’t have to tell you how much I’m looking forward to it. Dash will be home with his Granny and Nana, well cared for, so Neil and I can have sexy grownup time. Did I just say that? Well, come on. You know what date night means. We’re all adults here.

Speaking of that…

Since we’re all adults and a lot of us have had kids, we all know that bodies kind of change after a pregnancy. Yes? Not just me? Thanks. So even though I’m back in my old jeans and feeling pretty good about my waistline, I still decided to go out and buy some Spanx (or the Target version of Spanx cuz I’m cheap). Essentially, I want everything in its place and nothing in particular sticking out. Not unreasonable, I think.

So I bring home a size small (small, YAY! and also, FORESHADOWING!) and bring it upstairs to try on with my chosen date dress. A dress that still has the tags on it, hanging all lonely in the closet, waiting for my body to return to me so it can be worn. It’s your lucky day, dress! I’m coming for you.

You know,this probably won’t be all that funny to anyone who’s worn these before, but imagine my surprise and amusement when I opened the box and found this little number:

What’s that, you say? You don’t think this photo adequately shows my point? You don’t see how ridiculously tiny this body shaper actually is?

Let’s try a little experiment.

Here is the very same body shaper snuggling up with a favorite pair of Dashiell’s pants.

Size 3-6month INFANT pants. Size small ADULT body shaper.

So the body shaper is longer, but its waist is most definitely smaller than that of the infant pants. Fascinating!

Anyway, if you see me out on the town tomorrow night with a big smile on my face, man on my arm, and the waist of a nine-month-old, say Hello.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 8th, 2007 at 5:25 pm and is filed under Dork Mom. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.