Question: Can you make my sandwich into a camel?

Answer: Hells yeah.

Well we’ve had quite the weekend/week around these parts. Neil is working overtime to meet a deadline in spite of a cold that he was thoughtful enough to share with our son. Which means I’m taking care of drippy nose delightful Dash who wants to be held more than usual. Can’t say I mind that (he’s such a cuddle-monkey) though he is getting heavier and heavier. On the plus side, nice upper-body workout.

Thankfully, in spite of the coughing/snot dripping cold, he is still sleeping through the night. I feel the need to say that again, bear with me. He slept. through. the. night. And has been for a couple of months now. For someone who got up every two hours for a year that is an amazing statement. I mean seriously- momma’s tired kid.

A lot of people have emailed me and asked me how we did it which I will happily detail below. But first I just want to say thank you to all of you who shared your stories about your own sleepless kids. It actually does help to know we didn’t go through it alone. Though I don’t remember seeing you in my bedroom when I was nursing Dash every two hours. Hmmmm… Maybe that’s just as well. Would have been weird.

So here’s how we did it:

Shortly after his first birthday we sold his crib.

Shocking, I know, but he never used the thing. We bought it because that’s what people do when they’re expecting their first child, and in particular, that’s what crazed-nesting soon-to-be-mom’s go nuts over and make their husband’s assemble rightnowdamnit!

Anyhow, note our cat violet curled up in the sun. She and the other cats got a lot of use out of the crib and were no doubt sorry to see it go. But it had to go because it had no part in our Get Dash to Sleep Through the Night if it’s the Last Thing I Do plan.

We replaced it with a twin-size futon mattress that we put right on the floor. The three or four inches of mattress height were enough challenge for Dash so we’ll deal with a bed frame later on. And no, you will not be seeing a photo of the bed because it’s really hard to make a mattress on the floor look anything but trashy. And yes, our bed and box spring are resting on the floor too, so I know what I’m talking about.

For the first week, I slept with Dash in his new bed. I wanted him to get comfortable there but still have me at arms reach. He woke up here and there, but was almost immediately sleeping better than he had his entire first year of life. So far so good. But the ultimate goal was to get me away from Dash so he would get over the temptation of nursing every. minute. of. every. night. So…

After one week, I returned to our bed and Neil started sleeping with Dash. I won’t lie to you, there was some crying. There was also cuddling and singing and talking and back rubbing. And soon thereafter, there was sleep.

There were maybe two weeks where Neil spent every night with Dash. Dash would wake and be upset there was no nursing on his horizon and cry for a bit. We tried bottles at first (which were no substitute since he wasn’t looking for food, he wanted the comfort) until one night when I forgot to pump and strangely, everything went fine. He adjusted to no milk at night pretty quickly (which resulted in my milk production going waaaaaay down) and started sleeping in larger stretches.

Neil moved back into our room (hello husband!) and when/if Dash would wake crying, Neil would go in to comfort him back to sleep and then creep quietly (note: pay careful attention to just how creaky your floors are when buying a new house. Too creaky? You will be sorry when trying to sneak around on your baby.) back to our room.

And now? Dash sleeps twelve hours a night, waking promptly by 7am. And that means that I have the ability to sleep twelve hours a night, though naturally I do not. I’ve rediscovered the simple pleasure of reading in bed so I waste a couple of hours right at the beginning. But who cares!? My baby sleeps alllll night!

And that’s how we did it. Any questions?

I’m pretty sure if you asked Dash, that’s what he’d say. I does not understand mom. Playing is sooo much more fun. Seriously.

On the other hand, he did sleep through the enTIRE night last night, so maybe we can make do without the nap? I’ll just need a much bigger drink than usual this evening.

And what else is the little genius saying these days? Thanks for asking. He says, “Kit-tay,” and “yeah!” and “No, no, no!” All the important stuff.

And what else is he doing, you ask? Lots, but my favorite is when he puts rocks in his mouth and laughs hysterically when I tell him not to eat it (and try desperately not to laugh at him).

I’m honestly not bothered by it, though I know a few grandparents who probably will be, but I’m just happy to see his little sense of humor coming out.

Anyway, if you’re still reading this, thank you for humoring this post about nothing.

Just look at that cloth diaper butt.It doesn’t get much cuter than that.  

Starting to feel better… Fever has broken, though the snot factory is still in full-production. Does not stop him from climbing the stairs naked.